Rest In Peace

June 1997

Harmony River Music Festival came early that year. Usually an August concert, it went on in June that year. For whatever reason, only Steff and I went and around midday, we were getting ready to watch 7th House. Not my favorite band at the time but I agreed to watch with her. They were playing on the middle stage with a grassy knoll in front of it. Steff and I took a seat on the picnic tables near the back waiting for the show to start when this guy, who introduced himself as Sam, came over and sat down next to us. He was wearing baggie jeans, a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt, and a backwards-turned hat. He was cute, but he had these blue eyes, the kind of blue eyes you don't forget. He told us he was friends with the band, or worked for the band or whatever. Then he went up front to watch the show. Steff saw some friends to dance with so she went up front too, but I just sat back watching everyone. I remember watching Sam dance, it made me laugh a little, it wasn't the best dancing, but he was clearly having fun. After the show I waved him goodbye, and went on to watch other bands.

Shortly thereafter, Nicole started talking to me about a boy she met, which was ironic because she was already dating someone. She said that some of the members of 7th House came to her house to collect some ticket money and they brought this new guy who was so gorgeous that she could not stop staring at him. She thought his name was Sam. I told her that I thought I met that very same guy! And the quest was on.

July 3rd, 1997, the annual DVE Rocker. Nicole's then boyfriend and I got into a screaming match and Nicole and I pretty much ditched him for the rest of the night. Toward the end of the night, Nicole and I decided to do laps around the place (including the backstage) in search of Sam White (we found out his last name from 7th House) and we refused to divulge the identity of who we were looking for to Nicole's furiously asking boyfriend. We didn't find him that night.

About a week later, Nicole called me and told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I was overjoyed! Time to focus on Sam! Wherever he was. As summer came to an end, I remember finding out that he had joined the marines and was going to boot camp for 12 weeks. Another blow, she must wait longer for Sam. In the meantime, symbolic gestures will have to do. We purchase Sam and Matt pens (Matt Muckle was my love) and never left home without them. We danced with them to, "Box" by Bitter Delores, we did everything we could to summons Sam back to Nicole.

Even though Nicole started dating another boy, Sam still had a hold on Nicole's soul. That November, Nicole, Matt, and Sky showed up to the place I was babysitting. Sky called Sam for Nicole because he was home from boot camp, and they finally were able to speak. Sam told her he would try to come to some of the end of the year shows. He didn't make it.

That Christmas I bought Nicole the same Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt that Sam wore when I met him. I also gave it to her while playing "White Christmas" in the background. I couldn't give her Sam, but this was the best I could do.

Winter turned to spring and there was still no word from Sam. 7th House had a CD Release Party, April 1998. We thought he might be there, he wasn't.

A month later it was the first ever X - Fest and we thought it would be a good idea to take a bus to Star Lake Amphitheatre at 9:00am. The day of music was fun and seeing all the local musicians out of winter hibernation was fun, but we were still missing one person.

Just as the sun began to set, Nicole and I ran into Matt and Sky from 7th House and the first question out of Nicole's mouth was, "Is Sam here?" and to our amazement, the answer was, "Yes." From that moment on, Nicole and I spent the rest of the night (several hours that is) doing laps around Star Lake, looking for Sam.

When the last call for the bus home came, we knew we had to give up the search and go home. Nicole cried into my shoulder the entire way.

A month and a half later, July 3rd, 1998, the DVE Rocker was upon us again. I don't remember what our hopes were for seeing Sam but I'm sure hers were high. I'm sure I hoped too, but I didn't want Nicole to go through the disappointment she had been feeling for the past year.

At one point in the evening we split up, her to go look for Sam, and I went with Tom from Bitter Delores to watch the show from the side of the stage. All of a sudden I hear my name being screamed from the audience and when I looked down, I saw Nicole wrapped in Sam's arms. I almost started to cry because I was so happy for her. She finally found her man.

That night my mom picked us up and took us home to my house. We told my mom that Nicole was getting a ride home and shortly thereafter, Sam drove up in his Jeep Wrangler to take her home, to her empty house.

The next morning I woke up around noon and my mom told me that Nicole had been calling since 9:00am. She had a good night, and she was happy.

The next day, 4th of July, 1998, time to go to 3 Rivers Stadium for another show. Sam met us there and hung out all night. Nicole was in her glory. Photos were taken and will hopefully show up some day. When Sam drove us home, we listened to the Indigo Girls and he sang at the top of his lungs. It made me laugh.

He dropped us off and that was the last time I ever saw Sam White.

A few years later, around the time we were to graduate high school, Sam visited Nicole at work. I think she was hoping he would finally be back in her life. I hoped that for her too. I got there too late, he had already left.

After that he pretty much disappeared. I kept in touch with one of his friends who didn't even know where he was. The last I heard was that he had done a few tour of duties in the Middle East and then moved to Maryland. That was it, no more news on Sam. Nicole never gave up, she periodically would look for him in any way that she could; Facebook, Myspace, anywhere. She even said that to this day, every time she was in a public place she would expect Sam to be there.

Then today, January 12, 2010, I had a message in my inbox from a mutual friend telling me that Sam White had passed away in his sleep the night before. No one was sure at that point what had happened.

I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. He's gone. He was such a huge part of our lives and he didn't even know it. And now he's gone. How in gods name am I going to tell Nicole?

Her reaction was expected, sobbing, disbelief, regrets.
She said that even after all of these years, she thought that one day he would be in her life again. And to be perfectly honest, after all these years, I thought so too.

Epilogue

I hadn't seen Sam in nearly 12 years but it seems like only yesterday we were chasing after him, wondering where he was going to show up next. We may not have played a significant role in his life but he played a significant role in ours.

I've never been one to handle death very well. However, its moments like these that we see the preciousness of life and that it is so important never to take a moment for granted.
Thank you Sam for bringing my best friend and I such great memories. And thank you for teaching us all how to live.