Make Your Own Rules by Nicole Siriano

One of the most influential women in my life, Carrie Bradshaw said, "Why is it that we are willing to write our own vows, but not write our own rules?"

I am a victim of falling into the rules of society, and I don't know why. When did I stop living my life for me, and start living it to appease society?

So many of my friends, as we are approaching 30, are disappointed in their lives because they don't have careers, husbands, children, all of the things that you are "supposed" to have at 30.

As a waitress, I'm constantly getting stereotyped by my customers. There is not a day that goes by that someone does not comment on my age. They assume that because I'm a waitress, I must be young and just waitressing to get my feet on the ground, or get through school, or something leading me to something better. They also assume that waitressing is all I do. Why does it bother me so much?

I choose to waitress because it is something that I enjoy. There is not a day that I wake up and dread going to work, which is more than most people can say. I have cash in my pocket every day, and I make more money than when I worked a salary job. I tried the traditional 9 to 5 office job, with a salary and benefits and it was the most depressing time in my life. In addition to waitressing, I'm a teacher. I teach college. I've put a lot of time and effort into my education, and people think I'm uneducated because I wear an apron!

Even with my reasoning that makes sense to me, and fits my life, I feel inadequate. I'm embarrassed to tell people what I do. Who made the rule that having a successful career means working at a miserable job, 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday?
Who made the rule of a career meaning you have to sit behind a computer screen all day, answer phones and file paperwork? Why can't we be accepted for what we chose to do, and stop putting so much weight on having a "real job?"

As I approach 30, I'll admit that my clock is ticking, and the desire for a family is growing stronger. But why do we feel inadequate to say at age 27, "I'm single?" Who made the rule of having to be married and start a family before you were 30? Don't most of those marriages end in divorce anyway? So why am I wrong for waiting? Why am I desperate to have a diamond ring on my finger just to prove to strangers that I'm on the right track? I've worn a diamond ring, and it was more important to me what people thought of it, then what it really meant.

I am 27 and recently single; I am happy. I am a part time college professor/part time waitress; I am happy. I make enough money to live the lifestyle I choose; I am happy. I am healthy; I am happy. I encourage all of you out there to write your own rules to life, and to make decisions that make you happy, not to make you fit in to society.

*Photo is of Nicole Siriano