The Real Price of Manolo Blahniks by Nicole Siriano

Three years ago, I became a victim of love at first sight (not the first time in my life). They were gold peep-toe Manolo Blahnik pumps, with a circle of diamonds at the toe. They were $715. I have more than 100 pairs of shoes, none of which cost me anything near $715. My entire shoe collection probably values right around $715. But I couldn't turn my back on love.

Luckily for me, or at least I thought, I had a boyfriend who loved to make people happy through gift giving. Every Christmas, he would ask one question, "What is your number one gift?"

As a child, his mother would ask the same question, and even if he only got that one gift, it was the number one gift that he wanted. You don't need the other "filler" gifts when you get what your heart truly desires. Our first Christmas, my number one gift was to become a part of his life.

That year, while I had plenty of "filler" gifts, he did give me my number one, or so I thought. He introduced me to his family and I thought we were on track to building a life together. What I didn't know then, was that he could never truly give me my number one, but he sure could keep me hanging on for it. When I would have my doubts, he'd pull something out of his sleeve to keep me thinking we were on the right track.

He always seemed to know just when to say "I love you," just when to shower me with get-a-ways, vacations, dinners, Penguin games and gifts and just when to make gestures leading me to believe I was going to get what I wanted.

One day when he asked me what my number one gift was for that year, I told him about the Manolos.

Christmas came. I received a sewing machine with working table, $250; Sex in the City Pink Velvet Collector's Edition DVD Series, $200; Grey's Anatomy Seasons 2 & 3, $60; a Fancy-Pants Watch, $100; Diamond Earrings, $2,000; IPod accessories (car adaptor, earphones, traveling case and home docking station), $100. I'll stop there, I think you get the point. More than $3,000 spent, and no shoes. Then came our 2-year anniversary, which happened to fall on the day before Valentine's Day. I received a new Vera Bradley Purse, $65 and a diamond ring, $400. Another $500 spent and no shoes! My birthdays were full of concert tickets, Designer bags, weekend trips and other extravagant gifts. Hundred of more dollars spent, still no shoes.

The values of the gifts were not what mattered to me, they were what mattered to him. The price of the shoes was never the issue. He spent thousands of dollars on me over the years on things that he wanted to buy me. He thought that buying me gifts was the way to keep me happy.

After three years, I was still waiting to take the next steps to cohabitation, marriage and a family. After three years, I was still waiting for a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Holidays, birthdays and special occasions came and went, and the theme was repeating; I got everything I never wanted, and not the one single thing that I needed.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was appreciative of everything he gave to me, but when do I get what I really want? This question, I soon realized, became the downfall of our relationship. Our relationship paralleled my desire for the shoes.

My boyfriend could never buy me my Manolos because he could never make that commitment to me. He could buy me anything I asked for, but couldn't give me the one thing I truly wanted. It's about quality, not quantity and I would trade in all the "filler" gifts, I would even sacrifice the Manolos for what I always wanted more than anything, a life with him. And that was always the one thing that he could never give me.

I bought the shoes for myself, and they did cost me $715, but the cost was secondary, it what they represented to me. They gave me the strength to stand up for what I really wanted in my life, and to not just settle for what I could get.

When I put those shoes on my feet for the first time after adoring them online for years, the first words out of my mouth were "these are my wedding shoes." And I hate to admit that I've always known that he could never give me that.

Those shoes have given me the courage to walk away from the past three years and start on a fresh (and beautiful) foot.

I've been waiting so long for these shoes, and so long to start a life with someone who truly wants to be with me, and now, I can have both.