Tuesday, March 22, 2011

365 til 30: 3 Month Review


I woke up this morning ready to post my 3 month review with all the excuses as to why I haven’t been working on my blog and all of the things I wish to accomplish before I’m 30 and I deleted it because it’s all crap.  The only reason I’m not fulfilling my dreams is me.  I’m the only one preventing them from happening.

I’ve always been uncomfortable to the idea of change, especially scary change.  Of course writing a blog isn’t scary, but trying new things can be, especially at my age.  My novel is half way finished, something I’ve never thought I would be able to pull off, and I have started a few new habits. 

First of all I’ve started taking scuba lessons.  I first got the idea to do this probably 10 years ago, but put it off every year for one reason or another.  Secondly, I’ve been meditating a lot more, still not everyday, that changes right now, and I’ve been calling my grandma more.  Some of these sound stupid, like how could they be goals, but sometimes in life, we fall into holes that make even the smallest tasks seem difficult. 

I’ve been sick the past two days and have spent it lying on my couch watching television.  For a moment, it was great, the perfect escape.  But it allowed my to reflect on this past year so far, a year that is going so fast.  While I’ve made a few strides of progress, its not enough.  The weather is starting to clear the sun is starting to show again. 

I went to bed last night with all of these ideas, oh, I’ll just ease into things, oh, I need to do yoga to release pent up energy, yes that will help.  Forget it.  I woke up this morning with sheer determination.  Life is too short to wait, be afraid, or put it off until tomorrow.  I’ve been doing that for 16 years, I think its time to do something today.

I don’t have any specific goals for this next month except to go for everything full force with no fear.  By my next update entry, my book will be finished, that is a fact, and I will no longer be afraid of anything that might stand in my way.  Well I guess those are goals after all.

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