This month, although I haven't posted anything, I would like to entitle my Manic Depressive month. Not so much in regards to my mood, but more so in regards to my general life. Let's see, what have I done in these four weeks?
First and foremost I started scuba lessons. I had been wanting to do scuba for as long as i could remember, it was even listed on a massive list i wrote about 10 years ago listing all of the things I wished to accomplish in my life. Breathing underwater was scary at first, but I feel madly in love with scuba very quickly. A more detailed story will soon follow.
Then work drama began. I tried to remove myself from it, but I kept getting sucked in and it began to eat away at my soul. I had been working on my novel still here and there, and still trying to keep my positive energy going, but work was really taking a lot out of me. For the love of god, I worked as a server, I shouldn't have this much drama to deal with.
Then I met my favorite author of all time and he provided me with some exciting news that will also be soon to follow. The next day I went to scuba and mentioned that I was writing a book and found out that my scuba instructor was a well established editor and would be willing to edit my book for me (once I finally finished it).
One week later, the drama had escalated at work and I was fired for the first time in my life. It was humiliating and I felt like a big loser being fired from a waitressing job. I didn't handle it too well, but everyone around me, including my mother told me it was the best thing that could have happened to me and once I thought about it, I agreed.
I used my serving job to put off my writing because serving is easy money and I was scared of what my writing might bring me. I mean I worked on it somewhat regularly, but not like I should have been. And serving was supposed to be a temporary position until I figured out what to do with my writings and nearly three years later, I was still putting it off. And while it was hurtful to me to see the conniving that went into my dismissal, it was also humbling to see that most people, coworkers and customers alike, were outraged at the outcome.
I however, as much as i'm going to miss my friends there, couldn't be happier. I have my fearful moments regarding the future, but I don't have any desire to go back, only forward. And the irony of it all? Within on week of being unemployed, my novel was finished. My pitch list is nearly complete to send to publishers, and I'm living my dream, my way, with no distractions.
As much as it angers me at times, I must thank those who were involved because my own lack of self discipline prevented me from pushing myself and they, not even knowing, made me do it. I believe in Karma, and I believe that what goes around comes around and will, for those people. But I have been shown that sometimes and awful act by some people, can be just the key we need to accelerate to the next level! So I send them peace, love, and thanks for all they have done for me, malicious intentions and all.
Month 5 is going to rock. And whether I get an advance for my 365 til 30 (which I really need to get cracking on) or not, I'm still going to do it to the best of my ability because that is what I do. And even if the editor comes back and says the novel sucks, I'm going to rewrite it until its great. I'm a writer, and no one can take that away from me.
